you ended my heartbeat

Am back from my batam trip ! Somewhere not very far but very much we three did enjoy ourselves :) Stayed in Harris resort, allthanks to Edna for the information and persistency in grabbing tips from her ! Overspent
My house is in a big mess that now im staying over at lee's place most of the weekdays! In a few weeks time im starting school, how how how? Baby how, sigh. Another big headache!

Baby girl looked kinda nice to hold mommys face !

Just cried cause i put her lying on bed ! HAHA!

Now having difficulty with photobucket again! Shall try using safari !

Mommy, dont you have enough?

When we're on board on ferry, Chloe was superb noisy that I found a new way to coax her to take her nap! & thats to, sing lullaby for her !

Here we are, at the Harris !

FENG FEI FEI

First day after arrival, nua-ed at the room for a while before leaving for our lunch

& thereafter heading to mega-mall for some shopping !

A&W , something which i dont fancy for, too salty for me !

I shall come back and post more pictures! Tired of scrolling the pictures one by one .

Who have an easier way of uploading without having to scroll down?!

Labels: http://4.bpblogspot.com/_KIiQNq6z3pc/TJt0aYsNxCI/AAAAAAAAAJE/fw9NFv9rauc/s1600/IMG_3786.JPG

Back to post again, im lazy, i know :) YAY, so baby girl already turned 7 month and ive not been consistent in her growing up process. Wonder what am i doing, zzz. Alright, so i will be going to batam tomorrow for my first fam trip ! Also, a little surprise for lee birthday ! ( * I choose and decide where and what I want to do to my life, my baby life, so dont you busybody here and there )

Theres problem with photobucket, resulting not able to post anything . DAMN.

Feeling so lazy to post lately. Last post was like may, already like august , should get back to mood to start posting :) Well well, baby girl turns 6 month yesterday! She's as funny as ever, talking to herself as and when she likes it. Daddy loves her so much, everyday only knows how to play with her, yet forgetting quality time with me. Okay, so baby girl had been sick for the last two weeks, didn't bring her out lately. Met up with weiting for some shopping together with bb, that was like on tuesday! Okay, my life's so mundane that is either I go for tuition, if not stay at home and play with bb. she's getting so much interested in my lappy, mom says its probably the tai jiao ive given her! How true, im always stuck with the lappy when im preggy ! :)

And so, tommorow i'll be on a genting trip with lee's parents and together with my parents. How nice if it could only be the three of us.
Shall post some updates in the near future to come, bb's awake!

This is the only space where I can rant out, sometimes when I don't wish to post out sensitive issues happening around me that doesn't mean that i've admitted defeat. But it's just with a word - respect. However months have pass , Chloe baby is turning 4months this coming 4th, which marks us being in
Japan for half of the trip. I've swallowed down whatever I can and really tried my very best in accomdating what is required of me. However , not even giving a space of my own is totally intoleratable.
First and foremost I'm not going to care about any shit and I'm going to post whatever nasty things which I can no longer tolerate. I am not any Vietnamese who bears children for your parents to play. It is so much proven all that your parents want is to see and play with her. That shows there isn't a need for my presence, at all. Why can't you respect what I have to say, doesn't mean everyone goes your way you have to THINK that I have to go as you say. So what if Chloe baby reconise only me. So what if I am the only one who can decide about her every little things. Indeed , I don't hold a proper job, but I'm sure I can raaie her up by myself. All the time because of you, your small little actions, you cause lee and I to break out in fights. What's
Your motive? When things had been planned out nicely. Why
Do you want to chup ji ka. I sounded like an ah lian here, but that's the only way to show how I am feeling.
This is really my space to rant so shut your eyes if you find it annoying. Thank you very much for I'm boiling with fire. Part 2 will come shortly.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Time to loss some weight , I promise ! Many things have been up in my mind lately. Of this twenty years, I think ive done nothing impressive, nothing remarkable. Not to myself or to anybody, proud enough to say im glad enough to keep baby chloe and definitely not regretting. In times, I asked Lee, what would become of us if there isnt baby chloe. Both of us had the firm answer in our hearts. Despite the constant fights over communication breakdowns, Ive learnt the way that both needs to give and also taking at the same time. Im someone who never think of the consequences that results of baby chloe.
Yes, Chloe baby presence taught me how hard it is to bring a child up. Chloe baby made me think twice when I want or feels like arguing with my mom. Chloe baby taught me the meaning of responsibilty. With Chloe baby, ive learnt everything the hard way. Even when it comes to night time, the satisfaction of making her sleeping soundly beside me is so blissful. Because of Chloe baby, I wont have the chance to have the wedding of my dream, but yet still no regrets. Because of baby chloes presence, im accumulating anger within myself due to some reason. Up till the day when I could no longer with hold the anger, i bombed it out at Lee. He totally knows what and how I feel, its something which i felt happy for. At least at the moment, Im not that depress and at least having someone to speak to. How I just wished everyone could just respect me a little for what i think its the best for my baby. I want to give her the best, although not yet financially but physically ,thats why i still chose to b-fed baby after 2 months. Very much i want to stop , but i still want the best for baby. Contradicting i know.

Okay,i just need some space of my own with no interference ,please change yourself ! If not dont blame me.

Been so busy with baby botak, resulting in the lack of updates ! Will be a little more hardworking from today onwards. Ive turned twenty, in a blink of eye. No big parties ,not geeting myself drunk, but im a happy hot momma :) Future in laws was nice enough to surprise me with a birthday cake together with lee. Not forgetting my fam, who surprise me with another birthday cake thereafter.

Chloe babys turning 2 months in another 4 days! :)

A random thought, so what if im having a kid at the age of 20 ? Whats with those eyes of yours?!

This is how fat and messy i look after delivery :)

My daily dosage.

Confinement will soon come to an end ! Another 10 days ,then i can bathe to my hearts content ! Many issues have been up in my mind, however no one I could rely to , not even Lee. The most disgusting part is, I hate to be sandwiched. Many things have been getting on my nerves and it really adds on to maternity blues. I couldnt understand why is it so hard to please both sides of the family, and why doesnt one self know what is automatic. If everyone tries to give in a little and be less sarcastic in the way of talking, things would turn out better isnt it ? In fact, there is much miserys in me.Thinking of what might happen after confinement, more issues would rise.

Give me some space to breathe my lungs, this is just a piece of my thought.

I gave birth to my own daugther, cant I be the one deciding things for her? Why is it that there is no more of our own time where you would actually want to follow on everything that involves us or even baby. Pretty much I know you cared about baby, but cant you give us some space to do what we want? Is it that you think we're still young that we dont know a single shit or is it that youre the one providing money so you can have your say in everything ? I know by having the first grand baby, she'll be the little precious of everyone. But with all your actions, it adds on to my irritation level. Its my girl, shouldnt I have the right to visit the doctor with her even if im in the midst of confinement? Why can oneself be so selfish? Even when it arrives at the clinic, cant I have the right to carry my own baby even though ive did that most of the time at home? This is really pissing me off. You had your own way to dote your grandchild, but please give me some space when I am her mother ! Yes,I am young and ignorant thats why I got myself pregnant, but now ive already gave birth to her please please give me the right to decide what i want and give me the time of our own. Only the 3 of us ! Even on my post natal checkup, you want to tag along. You wouldnt know how happy I was knowing that I could have the time of my own with Lee. Even when its only that pathetic 1 hour. This dont reflect on how I will disobey on whatever you say, but I just need some space to rant out about my feelings. It had been cope inside me for the longest time ! FUCK, i say !

Baby girl woke up at 3am and not wanting to sleeep , feeeling fucking pissed off now.

BABY CHLOE ♥

4th Feb 2010

Raffles hospital; Gynae Doctor Koh Ghim Wee

Normal Delivery with epidural

Weighing 2695G

KAIXIN♥

" She’s a lil girl,
living in her perfect world
Until the bad guy come,
and tore everything apart.."

Build your house brick by brick
Just like how you build your love between both
For the big wolf's gonna blow it down

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